From Survivor to the One Who Thrived, The Story of Charlie Quinn Tebow

"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." ― Audre Lorde.

Charlie Quinn is a non-binary author, artist, and social worker who tenaciously aspires to help others like them. Growing up as the “weird” kid in a conservative family in rural Kansas brought many obstacles for Charlie. They often felt left out and separated from peers. But Charlie describes that they have always been strong-willed and highly critical of everything. They inherited the will from their mom, and their parents were always encouraging them.

The author was born on November 20, 1987, in Concordia to parents Lisa and Craig Tebow. Charlie lived an idyllic life as a small-town kid with big dreams. Throughout their life and even through adulthood, Charlie often felt like the odd one out and described themselves as the “black sheep of every family.”

They often pushed back against social norms, eventually finding a way through the darkness toward people who truly saw into their souls. Tebow leveraged their desire to empower the underdog and is now a humanitarian. They spend their days fighting for human rights, providing therapeutic services to youth in foster care, and empowering others like them to live their best lives.

“I want to become ‘the someone’ I needed when I was reaching out for help but never got.”

A Trip Down Memory Lane

As a feisty, youthful 18-year-old, Charlie emerged from the nest and flew off to Kansas State University in 2006. Charlie began their journey by enrolling in the College of Education and pursuing a career as a middle school teacher. They had a mission to stop the bullying they had endured during. When Charlie arrived at the University, they were excited for a fresh start from the bad memories of bullying and the feeling of confiding their identity.

Moving to a bigger town meant freedom to be themselves – expressing their bisexuality. This sense of freedom was cut off two weeks into classes beginning when Charlie met her first trafficker, a senior in the marching band with them. The next two years were a whirlwind of suffering as Charlie fought to survive, eventually finding their way out of “the life” in 2008. ("The life" is a term referred to by survivors as "the life of prostitution, abuse, exploitation, sex, and drug trafficking, etc.)

Charlie recounts the painful memories, stating that “I found myself afraid to sleep, as that was sometimes used as a tool to hurt me. I had to find creative ways to stay awake, like movies or music.” Those difficult years left a huge impact on Charlie. Much of Charlie's go-to coping skills to overcome the lasting effects of complex trauma are mentioned throughout the book, Damaged. Charlie recalled that they reached out for help at least 14 times to a local domestic violence center and were met with the same phrase: "You do not meet our criteria for services.” So, Charlie took matters into their own hands and got themselves out of “the life.”

The painful 13-year recovery journey began on June 4, 2008, and eventually led to the official emergence of ‘Charlie Quinn Tebow.' The recovery process began with overcoming addiction, managing triggers, learning to trust others and themselves. They met Austin Polley the day they decided to leave “the life” and immediately began leaning on him for support while establishing the first step forward. Austin proposed to Charlie in 2010, and the two were married two years later.

Charlie pressed on with their education without missing a single semester and graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Women's Studies and Criminology from Kansas State University in 2011. Achieving this goal helped to regain their confidence and reinforce trust in themselves to reach their goals. Shortly after graduation, Charlie began their helping career by providing advocacy services to other domestic and sexual violence survivors. Simultaneously, Charlie began the journey of getting involved in national consulting work, public speaking, and developing into a National Level Survivor Leader.

A Ray of Hope for Others

In 2013, Charlie enrolled in the Master of Social Work program at Washburn University while developing themselves as an advocate for adult survivors of sex trafficking, speaking, consulting, and working full time to pay the bills. During their time at Washburn, Charlie experienced another eye-opening experience in the workplace at a domestic violence center. Tebow recalls having to stand up against team members to fight for emergency shelter beds for survivors. “I just remember going to work feeling like I was going to throw up all the time because I knew I was going to have to turn away people just like me, people who could die if they didn't get a bed," Charlie stated that in retrospect, they are glad that their employment ended when it did because it closed a door that needed to remain closed. Charlie was then started their career in Child Welfare in 2016. Between 2013 and 2016, Charlie rose as a leader on the national stage, training direct service providers, law enforcement, and task forces.

As Charlie completed a Master's Degree in Social Work in 2018, their career was thriving at the child welfare agency in Kansas. "I finally felt like I worked for a place that truly saw me," Tebow shared. "They trusted my vision from the beginning, and instead of becoming competitive with me or trying to control me, it was like they nurtured me." As Charlie recalled positive memories starting in their current agency, they discussed a difficult reality for survivors of sex trafficking. They mentioned that while there is a healthy group of folks in the anti-trafficking movement who do great work, listen to survivors, and provide quality services to those that need it most; there is also a dark side to the anti-trafficking movement.

Still a Long Way to Go

Charlie experienced discrimination as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, a non-religious member of the anti-trafficking movement, and was constantly and intentionally left off. Day-to-day life for Charlie is a constant struggle for balance. One of the ways that Charlie finds balance is Acrylic Painting. They spend hours and hours in front of their easel, getting lost in the colors and textures, letting go of the painful moments with each brushstroke. Using a bright and bold color palette gives Charlie a full spectrum of opportunities to create meaningful masterpieces from the flashbacks and memories.

The emergence of Charlie Tebow included a legal name change and unveiling to the world that they no longer identified as female. Charlie stated that they never felt right in the "girlie" clothes but never felt accepted in boy clothes. They also stated that it was not until their life focused on self-love and trauma recovery that they found the courage to step out into the light and embrace themselves as a non-binary person. Charlie describes their coming out as simply hitting unsubscribe from gender norms. They explained that they never understood the importance of gender norms and how far it is taken but has genuine respect for each individual and their journey.

Learning to trust others and eventually find love for themselves proved challenging with each layer that came up. Charlie recalled the lifelong struggles that often reinforced the negative self-talk. They explained that they have always had a strong personality, which made them challenging to understand from an early age.

Penning Down their Experience

In the book, Damaged, Charlie wants to share with the world a realistic and emotional interpretation of a young person trying to overcome trafficking, but within the safety of a fiction superhero series. In the book, Charlie’s character (Bren) paints the difficult journey of learning how to be a human being again after everything was stripped away by abuser after abuser in “the life.” Just like their character, Charlie faced many difficulties connecting with people throughout their recovery process. They described building connections with others as one of the superpowers for their own healing process.

Charlie found a way to reframe the "two years of hell" they spent as a victim of human sex trafficking into what they call a "superpower." In 2019, Charlie was promoted to a new position within the agency that allowed Charlie to utilize their unique skills to locate and recover missing and exploited youth within the foster care system. Their past experiences provide Charlie with an opportunity to connect with the vulnerable youth they work with. Charlie uses what they call their "survivor leadership skills" to reach the youth most vulnerable to traffickers and other dangers. Charlie has served more than 500 youth and young adults throughout the state over the past decade.