As the disclaimer reads in the headlines, beard marriage has nothing to do with facial hair. The word ‘beard’ describes someone’s partner, usually in an LGBTQ+ context. But what does it mean? Is it similar to a lavender marriage? While LGBTQ+ language and slang dictionaries are evolving and expanding, a few words and terms have a long-rooted, fascinating history. Beard is one of them. The diversity and complexities of queer relationships are defined in a wide-ranging manner and beard is another component of this. In this article below, let’s understand the meaning of beard marriage, its history and rise in queer relationships and identity.

What Is a Beard Marriage?

A beard is an antiquated slang term for an individual whose social presence serves to mask aspects of someone else’s true sexual identity from the public. They knowingly or not date or marry a gay person so that the individual can hide their sexuality by appearing as though they are part of a heterosexual relationship and negate any possibility of them being queer. Both parties could be gay, but more specifically, the term refers to a relationship between a lesbian and a gay man. According to The Pink News, a straight man dating or marrying a lesbian is called ‘merkin’ in the US and ‘frock’ in the UK. Friendship Marriage — What Is It? Chinese Youth Turns To Growing Relationship Trend To Avoid Societal Pressure. 

History and Rise of Beards in Queer Relationships and Identity

One probably question that often arises around the conversation of beards in queer relationships is whether it is similar to a lavender marriage in the LGBTQ+ community. Returning to history, bearding has been around for a long time, but the term was widely used in the 1960s. Before then, such relationships were often referred to as ‘lavender marriages.’ However, over time, even the concept of lavender marriages evolved, with individuals deciding on the foundation of their relationship while still maintaining the traditional roots of marriage. What Is 'Floodlighting' in Dating? This New Relationship Trend Can Turn Your First Date Into an Emotional Rollercoaster. 

Examples of beard marriages were often documented in Hollywood. The term was normalised in the 1920s as studios began including ‘morality’ clauses in the contracts for actors. Gay actors responded by either self-initiating a bearded relationship or having one arranged for them by the studio with which they were contracted. Hollywood heartthrob Rock Hudson’s closeted sexuality is a bearding case. When a magazine allegedly threatened to expose his homosexuality, he married his agent’s secretary as a cover in 1955. He was only outed to the public after his death in 1985 from AIDS-related complications.

In interviews, The Golden Girls legend Betty White implied that she occasionally bearded for the flamboyantly gay Liberace. That Thing You Do! Star Johnathon Schaech replied to a Reddit Ask Me Anything question explaining his relationship with comedian Ellen DeGeneres. He took her on dates at the request of their shared manager since Ellen was worried no one would watch her show. Later, in 1997, Ellen came out as gay and is now married to Portia de Rossi.

In bearded relationships, both parties are usually aware of each other’s sexuality. Historically, the queer community adopted beards to avoid public scrutiny. However, the Stonewall Uprising in 1969 revolutionised the LGBTQ+ community. Today, the term is still used, and with queer relationships being more accepted in some countries, there is comparatively less need to hide one’s sexuality.

(The above story first appeared on LatestLY on Aug 21, 2025 05:39 PM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website latestly.com).