The dating trends continue to give you the heebie-jeebies! The dating world seems to get more complicated as every second ticks by. Each week, there is a new dating trend to watch out for. As much as we hate to be the bearer of bad news, there is a new romantic phenomenon to add to your relationship lingo: ghostlighting. Yes, this one is spooky, but not in the way you are thinking. You are aware of ghosting and gaslighting, and when you combine the warning signs of both, you get the worst behaviour – ghostlighting. Ghosting is a manipulative tactic where an individual disappears and suddenly cuts off communication with another person. However, ghostlighting goes a step further by making you question ghosting in the first place. Let’s understand the new dating trend and warning signs to watch out for if a ‘ghostlighter’ tries to undermine you. What Is 'Floodlighting' in Dating? This New Relationship Trend Can Turn Your First Date Into an Emotional Rollercoaster. 

Ghostlighting, Dating Trend Worst Than Ghosting

A combination of ghosting and gaslighting, ghostlighting is an unholy child of the two. If you need a refresher, ghosting is when a person suddenly disappears without an explanation after building a romantic connection with someone. A problematic offshoot of dating, it’s awful, confusing and shockingly common. On the other hand, gaslighting is a disturbing form of manipulation. When confronted, the emotional abusers spew a million excuses, deliberately attempt to distort your perception and act like you are making the whole thing up. Put both behaviours together, and you get ghostlighting. What Is Chameleoning? All About the New Gen Z Dating Term You Might Be Unknowingly Living. 

A person carrying out ghostlighting will initially ghost someone, then return and gaslight them about the said ghosting. They will deliberately act like it never happened, make excuses and deny the other person’s reality. “Someone may use this tactic because they…do not know what they want in a relationship. When confronted, they feel anxiety and shame, and freeze, and then make up an excuse because they were too busy,” certified therapist Lee Phillips was quoted as saying in Oprah Daily.

Ghostlighting Signs To Watch Out For

  • The first sign of ghostlighting is ghosting. They vanish suddenly without explanation, leaving the other person feeling confused or worried, often wondering what went wrong. They don’t want to hold themselves accountable for anything. Avoiding accountability allows them to bypass uncomfortable conversations and maintain a façade of protecting their ego and avoiding the repercussions of their actions.

  • The second sign is that they return out of the blue with a “This thing made me think of you recently…” text (sans the gaslighting part). They act as if nothing happened and offer vague excuses before blaming the other person with the classic “You are overreacting.”

  • One moment they are affectionate and invested, the next they withdraw, leaving you emotionally destabilised. They dismiss your concerns when you seek clarity. They rarely apologise, and often, they never apologise or admit their wrongdoing, shifting blame onto the other person or circumstances.

  • They manipulate to create emotional dependency. The act of reappearing allows them to uphold the connection while circumventing emotionally challenging discussions. Emotional manipulation empowers ghostlighters with a false sense of control and influence, ensuring the other person remains emotionally dependent.

If you have encountered any of the above signs or been on the receiving end of ghostilighting, know it’s not your fault. Gaslighters and ghostlighters alike are experts in altering your perception. So, take the hints, listen to their behaviour and walk out with grace. You deserve much more than someone dropping you without explanation or accountability.

(The above story first appeared on LatestLY on Jul 31, 2025 01:33 PM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website latestly.com).