If you are nice, likeable and charitable but have still not found love, a recent research has possibly explained the reason for it. It is your niceness that is keeping you single because people are not attracted to the good guys and the nice girls. Yes, as contradictory as it sounds, a study has revealed that goodness is not one of those qualities people tend to seek in their romantic partners. It's is probably what's causing all the friendzoning! Tinder Horror! Woman Tricks Around 100 Men on Dating App by Gathering Them for a Mass Dating Competition (Watch Video)
Researchers from Oxford and Yale University have found out that people prefer to be prioritised over anything else. No matter what the distraction is, even if it is a good one, they want to be the priority.
Interestingly, the study reveals some facts about people’s psychology when they seek romance. Like, those who like spending time with their mothers are more appealing as prospective partners and are preferred over someone who is nice enough to build homes for the needy. People were surveyed by the research team before drawing these conclusions. They were asked some subjective questions about their partner preferences etc. according to a report in the Daily Mail. While dating today is much easier and faster, with so many dating apps, it is only natural for people to have different priorities when it comes to finding romance. Also read People on tinder are not hooking up?
For example, they asked if a grandmother wins a lottery should she give it to her grandson to fix his car, or to a charity dedicated to combating malaria. In reply most participants said that they would prefer someone who helped their grandson. Another question they asked was whether they will date a young woman who spends the day with her lonely mother or one who volunteers with a charity like Habitat for Humanity. Most of the participants chose to date someone who would spend time with their mother.
The researchers also tested people’s reply in other situations. Like, they asked the participants about the qualities they would like to see in a boss and a political leader. Most people preferred a boss who will be the opposite of these traits, because a boss should ideally be impartial. For a political leader as well people discarded the idea of favouritism and priority towards anyone particularly.
The study was first published in Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Jim Everett, from Oxford, first author of the study, explaining favouritism said, “Friendship requires favoritism - the key thing about friendship is that you treat your friends in a way you don't treat other people. Who would want a friend who wouldn't help you when you needed it?”
Further explaining why the trend is different for political leader, Everett says, “a political leader who represented the interests of themselves or their family over the country would be disastrous.” According to the researchers, these findings suggest a roadblock for 'effective altruists'.