Q. I am dating this woman from the past one month whom I am deeply in love with now. However, I used to always feel that she tries to avoid sex and is unable to give a good reason for it. I initially thought it maybe I was trying to have sex too soon and that I should wait, but one day I realised that she actually identified as an intersex person. But I love her a lot and still want to have sex with her. What are the things, I should keep in mind before having sex with an intersex person?

Ans. Intersex persons are born with mixed biological characteristics of which some may be considered "female" and others "male" and hence do not fit into society's binary definitions of male or female. Being an "intersex" person is a natural occurrence and about 1 in every 100 people is said to be an intersex person. An intersex person may be completely healthy with smooth biological functions but are often, unfortunately, said to be subjected to bullying or indifference by society.  However, if you are not an intersex person and are planning to have sex with one, you might want to keep a few things in mind to make sex more comfortable. Gender Identity Goes Beyond Male and Female: 33 Gender Terms and Their Meanings That You Probably Didn’t Know Of!

Transparency: It is important to be transparent with each other. You two should know what the both of you want from each other sexually. You must make sure that you know about what your partner wants in the most comforting way. Also, be prepared for some hardwork there because initially your partner may be hesitant.

Communication: When you see that your partner is ready to open up to you, you must remember that it is important to communicate the right way. Ask your partner about what extent of sexual intimacy would be or she like. Tell your partner about yours as well.

Sex Positions: Opting for sex positions spontaneously may not be the right idea when you're having sex with an intersex person. Get to know about the comfortable sex positions for your partner. Whether it is anal or perineum play, explore different sex positions with your partner and take his or her inputs as well.

After sex: Make sure that your after sex moments are spent well. Don't just abandon him or her on the bed but infact you guys might want to indulge into cuddling or a nap maybe. The way you treat your partner after sex is as important as they way you do during sex. Ask your partner for feedback and if they are ready for a second time or not.

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There is a lack of awareness about intersex people and their sexuality.  In the olden days, when an intersex baby was born, their gender was decided by their parents and they were raised accordingly. Sometimes people would even opt for gender alteration surgeries. But as the baby would  grow up the gender picked for them wouldn't match their identities after they grew up, leaving them with a confused life. However, times are changing and we hope that it changes for the better.

(The above story first appeared on LatestLY on Sep 01, 2019 05:00 PM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website latestly.com).