While you may know how to manage your negative emotions, sometimes anger just goes out of control. We have all been there. Spoken over in a meeting, gone above and beyond at work and let down by our partners when we needed them. You can probably feel your anger bubbling up right now just thinking about these things. However, it is important to remember that there is a better way to communicate in your interpersonal relationships. If it becomes almost impossible to calm down in a heated argument, these reliable ways will help you calm down when you are angry.
1. Ask Yourself If Your Anger Is Reasonable
This may be too much to ask for when you lose your mind but if you can take a few deep breaths and check, what is making you angry, you may be able to calm yourself down without invalidating your feelings. Validating yourself can allow you to check with yourself about how you can get your needs met. Angry People, You May Not Be As Intelligent As You Think You Are! Study Links Bad Temper To Narcissism.
2. Talk To Your Inner Child
Talking to your inner child can not only help you calm down but also identify what is amiss and be nicer to yourself. Imagine your angry self as a child within you with an anger tantrum. Now imagine hugging that angry child with love, care and compassion. Then ask that angry child what is making her so upset? Is it some deeper feelings of heartbreak or hopelessness over a situation? You will have your answer.
3. Watch Something Funny
Have you ever been in the midst of a fight with your partner and suddenly your friend sends you a funny meme and you can't help break out in laughter? While this can be a recipe for disaster in a serious argument, watching something funny can sometimes really help. So if you are starting to get angry at yourself even on things really minor, learn to laugh at yourself.
4. Write a Letter
Writing a letter to the person against whom you have grudges can be an effective coping method. It will allow the child in you to act constructively. Just don't write an email as you do not want to accidentally send it. Scribe hand-written notes and vent it all out. Your Brain Responds Better To Angry Voices Than To Happy or Normal Voices.
5. Turn On Some Tunes
Listening to your favourite song (good if they are attached with happy memories) can be a great way to dissipate anger. So yes, one moment you would be raging and the next moment you would be singing and humming. According to studies, songs with a speed of 60 to 80 beats per minute are soothing to the body so hit play at the end of a hard day. How to Maintain Your Calm and Not Crack Under Pressure: 4 Tips to Deal With Stress.
6. Ease Up Physical Tension in Your Body
It is not uncommon to experience some physical manifestation of anger. Squeeze various areas in your body three times per section, for five seconds and relax. Common body areas include shoulders, arms, hands, legs, and feet. This technique should help release tension and calm your anger.
Remember that anger is not an interesting or igniting feeling. It is simply absence of control and you need to work your way out of it.